turbulence

5 weeks and 3 days pregnant.   Still haven’t cried about being pregnant,  and shouldn’t I be crying about everything by now?  Also haven’t had a touch of morning sickness,  although my tummy is cramped all the time from all the iron in the prenatal vitamins.  These should be good things, right?  I’m not a mess.  So why do they scare the crap out of me?

Today I had my third blood test.   The first two times I was told that my numbers were great, “unexpectedly high” even.  Today I got a call saying that my hCG level is lower than they expected for where I am… low enough that they want me to go in tomorrow for an early ultrasound.

You know, I had been so excited for my first ultrasound.  I knew it would be the thing to make this whole thing seem real for me.  Now I’m terrified.  Now I am crying….

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Erin
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 16:37:06

    I am sending prayers and positive thoughts your way… Thinking of you 🙂

    Reply

  2. Sabrina
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 16:43:56

    Praying for the best. Hang in there

    Reply

  3. Misty
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 17:04:25

    praying for positive results and a healthy pregnancy!

    Reply

  4. Jennifer Langford Filler
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 17:29:57

    There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, but a lot of prayers will be coming from this direction… hoping for the best for you!

    Reply

  5. Melissa
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 17:48:36

    Oh no…I’m praying for you hon! *HUGS*

    Reply

  6. m.g.
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 18:16:58

    thanks guys~ i appreciate the continued support
    xox
    they said my other numbers looked good, and all the panic-googling i did seemed to say it doesn’t *necessarily* mean anything bad for hcg numbers to be low. trying to stay distracted … probably won’t be sleeping tonight….

    Reply

  7. Amy Isdaner Pali
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 18:22:18

    Hugs, hugs, and more hugs to you! Like the others said, there is not much we can say to make it better, but know that we are all thinking of you. As far as symptoms are concerned, for me and many people I know, you don’t start feeling anything until around 6 weeks and sometimes 7 for morning sickness. Do your best to stay relaxed, and we’ll be praying, cheering, or crying right along with you. You’re not alone.

    Reply

  8. Jill
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 20:09:33

    Hi, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for the best.

    Reply

  9. Mrs. Brightside
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 22:19:27

    Shit. I hadn’t yet gotten the chance to say congrats, and i’m having to throw out a “hang in there.” I hate phone calls like that, and I’m so sorry for how scared you must be right now. But I am going to stay positive for you – those numbers don’t hold all the answers, and I hope the ultrasound proves all is well. Will be thinking of you.

    Reply

  10. Sarah
    Aug 19, 2011 @ 08:41:12

    I love your blog! You’ve been in my thoughts & prayers. I’m so excited for you and am praying for the best with this visit. Hubby and I have been ttc for 7 years, you’re an inspiration!

    Reply

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