Call me M.G.

In my late 30’s (Wait… what?  How did THAT happen?)

Musician/artist/aspiring writer…

Trying to conceive my first child for about four years now.   I’ll call it being an aspiring mama.   I’ve dealt with massive fibroids, abdominal myomectomy,  hsg’s,   laparoscopy,  blood test after blood test, doctor after doctor,  acupuncture,  herbs, supplements,  Clomid, and as of summer 2011 we are heading into IUI territory for the first time.  The 8 million sonograms and tests and minor surgeries I have had show that everything should be working just fine.  Yeah… should be….

Loves:   My weirdo husband.  Our weirdo cat.   Star Wars.  Music.   Writing.   Enchiladas.   NYC (used to live there).   The kid I keep dreaming about.

Dis-loves:   Brussel sprouts.   “Reality”  TV.    Cold sandwiches.    Those inflatable wavy-arm noodle guys at car dealerships.  Infertility.

{*Update:  In August of 2011, the day after our wedding anniversary, I found out I was finally pregnant.   I had a dream about a gorgeous little boy about 2 weeks before I found out.   Husband and I  were over the moon and I was so in love with this treasure I had finally been given.   Turns out it was a boy… but he didn’t make it.   Both of us were perfectly healthy, he just happened to get his cord wrapped around his neck  which cut off his blood supply
and he was stillborn on December 15th at 23 weeks.
It was like a nuclear bomb going off in the middle of my life. 

Needless to say I’m still in grieving…. but we are trying again.  
Eagerly, anxiously, and with a broken frightened heart,  I am still trying….}


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. clarkes
    Jul 13, 2011 @ 07:19:58

    Thank you so much for writing your blog. It is so nice to see someone else write down and express EVERYTHING I have been feeling or heard from others for so many years. Why don’t people understand that it takes an army of doctors around us and ends up consuming our entire life? We are in year 5 of our journey. Just deciding when it is time to let go. I just can’t yet.


  2. m.g.
    Jul 13, 2011 @ 19:40:54

    Thank you so much for reading. It’s hard for anyone to understand unless they’ve been through it, that’s why we are here for each other 😉
    Best of luck to you ~


  3. Lily
    Jul 14, 2011 @ 09:16:17

    I LOVE this blog! You have the best way of articulating the same things I feel in a humorous way. Plus you are in the same stage of the game as me…just had my 2nd IUI fail this month. You have to laugh about this sometimes, otherwise depression would take over. Please keep up the great writing!


  4. Patrice
    Jul 31, 2011 @ 16:58:42

    Love the irony and justified anger (use this energy because it will help you!) Don’t let those hurdles stop you – after all the years and procedures my son was definitely worth it all!


  5. Victoria
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 08:02:26

    M.G. you so deserve this pregnancy. It’s great that you didn’t have to lament too long about infertilty here, as you’ve now received your gift. I wish you a happy and successful pregnancy journe.


  6. JDragonfly
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 18:28:21

    Hey MG,
    I just wanted to drop you a note to say that I’ve been thinking about you. I hope you’re well, and have missed you. (No pressure! Just wanted to let you know that you’re being thought about.)



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